Month: January 2017

The Fast And The Furiously In Love

It was love that drove Hank Jankson to assassinate the Dalai Lama.

Like an American voting against their own interests, the path had been one of incremental instinct rather than decisions. The choice equivalent of going down hill. He couldn’t leave Jennifer, it would be easier to breathe underwater. But he couldn’t live the rest of his life knowing he’d have to speak to his mother in law again any more than he could live the rest of his life with a beehive in his underpants. That left only one option, as far as he could see.

The Dalai Lama’s head exploded like a watermelon in a slow motion Youtube video. (more…)


Two Heads Are The Beginning Of An Argument

The machine screamed in childbirth, and a naked woman slid from it, covered in slime. With blinking newborn eyes that already needed glasses, she looked up at her creator. They say God made man in His own image, but this was more your basic cloning situation.

‘Welcome to life,’ said Beatrice Vamoose. ‘You’re due at work in half an hour.’ (more…)

First Contact

The night sky exploded in a shower of light, colours that had never brushed the planet Earth. A humming of sound more raw than emotion, a direct line to the heart, welled every eye with the beautiful tears of a mother’s love. The ship landed.

Three figures emerged, or possibly one. Numbers made for inadequate adjectives. They spoke without the need for language. ‘Take us to your leader.’

The representative of the human race straightened his tie and stepped forward. ‘I’ll need to see your passports.’ (more…)