Month: November 2015

The Special Day: A Play

Cubicles, chairs, lives wasted making other people rich. A completely normal office.

Dancing arrives at work to a seemingly empty office. When he turns on the lights, everybody leaps out in a surprise attack of balloons and party poppers. Queen is their leader.

QUEEN: Happy birthday!

DANCING: It’s not my birthday.

QUEEN: Merry Christmas?

DANCING: It’s not Christmas.

QUEEN: Easter?


QUEEN: I know it’s some sort of special day.

DANCING: It’s the first anniversary of my wife’s death. (more…)


The Disney Guide To Picking Up

‘So, you want to bang,’ said the Prince. His chin was big and handsome almost to the point of being impractical

‘Um, well, that is, I want to find love,’ said Mitch. His face had gone as red as the Prince’s cape.

‘Same difference,’ said the Prince. ‘What’s your open?’

‘My what?’

‘How do you initiate contact with the target?’

‘The what?’

The Prince sighed. ‘The woman.’

‘Oh. Well, usually I just say hello,’ said Mitch.

The Prince shook his head in pity. ‘Classic mistake.’

‘Well, how do I make a woman fall in love with me?’

‘First,’ said the Prince, ‘you’ll want to break into an abandoned castle.’ (more…)

Hate: A Love Story

The sheets were damp beneath them. The air was thick with their musks. The floor was covered in used condoms and underwear. ‘Miriam, I’ve never felt this way before,’ said Graham.

Miriam nuzzled his shoulder. ‘Neither have I.’

‘I hate you,’ said Graham, wistfully. (more…)