An office. On the wall a poster somehow turns the plight of a kitten into inspiration for humans. Ted sits at his desk. Bill sits across from him. It’s not necessarily that Bill and Ted.
Bill: So, you’re here about the internship?
Bill: Excellent. Now, you’ll need to have six years experience doing the job we’re not going to pay you for, plus a doctorate in the field.
Ted: Six years? I thought it was five years.
Bill: That’s right, ten years of experience. Have you ever been the CEO of anything?
Bill: We only accept interns who have fifteen years experience as the CEO of this company.
Ted: The CEO of this company?
Bill: Or a better company. We accept only the highest calibre of interns.
Ted: How am I supposed to get fifteen years of experience as the CEO of this company if you won’t even give me an internship?
Bill: It’s not our concern how you get twenty years of experience as the President of the United States.
Ted: The President? But American presidents can only serve for ten years.
Bill: If you’re not interested in the internship, we have plenty of other very keen applicants.
Ted: Who were the President of the United States for twenty years?
Bill: Yes. We require all of our interns to have always been the one true God.
Ted: Is this internship at least paid?
Bill: Of course. You’ll need to pay us $200,000 a year, plus bonuses.
Ted: I have to pay you?
Bill: We’re a business, not a charity. If we don’t make money, we can’t afford to create jobs.
Ted: So you’re going to use that money to create jobs?
Bill: Of course not, why would we create jobs when so many people like you have to work for free just to get a foot in the door?
Ted: How long is this internship?
Ted: For the rest of my life?
Bill: Yes, and then we’ll require your ghost to continue working for us. Or your skeleton if you come back as a spooky skeleton. Plus overtime. If you want to get noticed your ghost and your skeleton will have to work a lot of overtime.
Ted: But after that I’ll get a job here?
Bill: No, after that we’ll replace you with another free intern. It’s much more cost effective for us than hiring employees.
Ted: When do I start?
Bill: You mean you haven’t started aleady?
Ted: We’re still in the interview.
Bill: I’m afraid we can’t accept lazy interns. Please leave.
Ted: But how could I possibly have already been working here?
Bill: You should have founded the company. Next!
Bill: Oh, hello Mr. CEO, how can I help you?
Rufus: I’m here to apply for the internship.